Secrets For Late Bloomers: How To Know If You Are A Late Bloomer And What To Do About It
By Dr. Jan Hoistad
Do you resonate with any of these statements?
• You have ideas but you’re not sure they are good enough to bother carrying out.
• You don’t get encouragement or support for your dreams or ideas—and maybe some well-meaning (and some mean) people even try to discourage you.
• You have started quite a few new ideas or projects but nothing has come to fruition, so you don’t trust yourself.
• You feel like a yo-yo with moments of clarity and enthusiasm followed by huge self-doubts and stagnation.
• You’re tired of always going through a “transition”—you’d really like to “transform” yourself, what you do and maybe even your relationships.
Well, my dear, you just might be a late bloomer. Take hope and take heart! I want to share some important thoughts and tips to move you onto a new path.
Over the years I’ve worked with lots of unique individuals and couples who have struggled to create fulfilling, satisfying work and relationships. I’ve identified one particular dilemma.
You may be what I’d call an “Unconventional-Creative.”
There’s an upside and a downside to being an Unconventional-Creative.
The wildly, wonderful upside is your unique talents, gifts and problem-solving approaches. The way you see the world is offbeat, surprising and refreshing. When channeled, harnessed and supported, this perspective is powerful and Unconventional-Creatives contribute much to the world. Just think of all the wacky, eccentric or unusual inventors, scientists, artists who have made amazing contributions throughout the centuries!
Thee downside is you don’t always “fit in” and because of that, people along your path (parents, teachers and others) may not have seen you clearly. They may not have provided you with the steps you need, the instruction book, formulas you need to bring your particular talents fully into the world.
Others have given you the basic grounding, but that means you have to live in a conventional or traditional world that isn’t fully satisfying to you.
It’s almost like you have some missing pieces, some missing steps. No one showed you how to get from A to Z using your unique approach and talents.
As a result, you may not have figured out how to guide yourself through the steps you need, and instead you look to traditional steps that don’t fulfill you and then feel like a failure.
You are also more sensitive to needing a combination of traditional life elements, such as responsibility, systems, structure, goals setting that is not stifling. While at the same time being attracted to spicy, wacky, spontaneous, off-the-wall or unusual life elements and people.
If you don’t know you need both responsibility and some pizzazz, but in a nice mix, you may choose relationships that derail or bore you. You may choose work or outlets that have no focus or drain you.
It’s kind of complicated isn’t it? And that’s the reason you may be blossoming a bit later than your peers.
I want to help get you out of your pain and self-doubt and onto a more fulfilling path. Here are a few really important tips to get you started:
It’s Never Too Late
First off, let me tell you it’s never too late to get clear and pursue what makes you happy, fulfilled—so you can live your purpose. I know, it’s hard not to judge yourself but this won’t do you one ounce of good. This may sound like tough-love, and it is—what’s important is that you face your uniqueness and the challenges that accompany being this way so you can help yourself blossom.
Embrace Your Quirkiness
Come to terms with your uniqueness. Get clear about how it manifests, what works and what doesn’t work in your life. It’s only when you can clearly state Where You Are that you can create a vision of Where You Want To Go. You don’t need to fit in everywhere. You may just need to find the people, work and create a life in which your uniqueness can flourish.
Put Judgments Aside
This is a crucial step if you are going to change. Change requires being objective and open-mind, even toward your self. It also requires not falling into blaming others or acting like a victim. That passivity will get you nowhere. You have a tough old pattern to crack, so start where you are. Forgive the younger person you were and maturely make a commitment to yourself to learn a new way that will allow you to flourish.
Role Models and Missing Steps
Unconventional-Creatives who are late bloomers need to fill in learning gaps. You need to learn the steps that will get you to your goal.
You can’t do this alone. Don’t reinvent the wheel. Turn to coaches, mentors, teachers who know how to help unconventional highly creative folks like you.
Choose Relationships Wisely
You need relationships that support you and your uniqueness. Too wild and crazy may be exciting but it’s going to distract you and burn out. Too traditional will zap your energy. Some good solid responsibility, stability peppered with quirkiness is probably a recipe to achieve.
Get started. I want you to be happy and successful.
Check out how you can have this…
Read Marla’s success story… She’s someone who has blossomed! You can too!
Please leave your thoughts in the COMMENTS Box below. In what ways are you an Unconventional Creative? In what ways has it served you and have you had “gaps” you’ve needed to fill in?