This week the Video Ezine Assignment is focused on conscious, committed couples. I think of these couples as “business partners” or “entrepreneurial couples” whether one works in the home or if one or both work in a corporation. Managing a relationship, a family, running a household and going to work—inside or outside the home—is a massive challenge. It’s an entrepreneurial adventure! So, the more conscious you become and the more you set goals and take action together, the smoother your life will run AND the more you’ll reach for your Big Picture Dreams together!

These past few week’s you’ve been working on your Individual goal setting for this year. I’ve asked you not to share these with one another just yet.

If you are in a committed relationship, creating goals together will help you to:

1. Smooth out any Daily Details that can problematic:
   You set goals to create smooth-running systems for everything from household chores to bill paying to scheduling and child care arrangements. These are often the things that couples – especially those with kids – repeatedly trip over if they are not planning together and keeping clear agreements. Setting goals with clear action steps and built-in follow-up will help you do this. 
   
2. Stay in touch with the Big Picture Dreams brought you together in the first place. When Daily Details are running smoothly you’ll have more time for fun and creative activities. You’ll also have energy to plan for your future. 
   
3. Become great role-models for your children. As you get good at bringing in your goals, you’ll include your children in Family Meetings, helping to share chores, and plan family outings, vacations and weekly schedules.

This week you are going to write your Couple Goals and your Family Goals—just like you did your Individual Goals. Again, do this privately at first. Later this week you’re going to share them with your partner.

You are going to follow the exact same Steps # 1 – 3 outlined in last week’s video ezine assignment.  Then you’re going to bring Steps #4 and 5 together.

Here’s a recap of Steps #1 -3 to do individually. For the full instructions, click here.

Step #1   Set aside some time and get set up in a comfy place, have your journal and the list of life categories in the article 
                below.

Step #2   Think about each of those life categories and what you want for yourselves as a couple (for the relationship) and if 
                you have kids, think about what you want for the family (for each child and for the family as a whole.)  

To help you write these one-year goals, think about the goals you’d like to set in every area of your life:

•     Your partnership        

•     Parenting

•     Extended family

•     Friendships

•     Social life and activities

•     Work life

•     Spiritual life

•     Creative pursuits

•     Physical health, exercise

•     Sex life

•      Finances and investments—short-term and long-term

•      Everyday household upkeep and maintenance

•      Household projects, renovation, or remodeling

•      Intellectual or learning activities

•      Fun and leisure

•      Travel

•      Other 
 

Step #3   Write a Positive Global Statement of how you want things to be in each life category within one year if
                things were exactly the way you’d like then to be.

Here are a few Helpful Hints Especially for Couples:

• You are going to turn any problems into goals you can reach for together; turn what has been negative into a positive: “This is how I’d like it to be.” For example if there are messy socks, toys and towels everywhere, you might say, “ Within 3 months everyone in the family will be participating keeping the house looking neat on a regular basis.”  
• Put aside your doubts that your mate or kids can change. If you work together as a couple and create an action plan to change your behavior together, then most kids are trainable.  
• Start with the Daily Detail goals, but be sure to add some fun stuff to bring in too—your Big Picture Dreams.
• Brainstorming and Strategizing Action Steps to accomplish each goal can be done individually and you will also do this together (see below.)

Bring It All Together

After you’ve spent some time completing your Individual, Couple and Family Goals here’s how you’re going to bring this all together.

Share Your Goals with Your Partner

Come together and take turns reading your lists slowly out loud to one another. First read your list of Individual Goals, followed by your Couple Goals and concluding with your Family Goals. Do not discuss right now. Listen carefully.

Once you have shared all your goals, discuss your responses. Are your goals aligned? Talk about any surprises—not in a judgmental way, but by sharing your reactions. Talk about these lists in terms of your values and priorities, and desire to have a solid partnership and happy family.

Make a Combined Master List of One-Year Goals

Now you’ll create a master list of couple and family goals for the coming year. Refer to the Master List diagram below. Rewrite your couple and family goals by combining what each of you wrote in a common language. This is an opportunity to clarify your mutual goals.

Now that you’ve made a joint list of goals, set your lists of individual goals alongside this master list.

Talk about your willingness to support one another’s individual goals—while also working on your mutual Couple and Family Goals—during the coming year.  

Identify Your Mutual Priorities and Action Steps

And finally, work together to choose two to three couple goals you want to start working on first. Break down a timetable and action steps you can each be accountable for.

Do the same with one or two family goals.

Then set up another Talking Time in a few weeks to review your progress. Put this Talk Time on your calendar. Continue to do this throughout the year and soon you’ll be accomplishing many of your goals together!

RESOURCES: For Couple’s

Romance Rehab: 10 Steps To Rescue Your Relationship, by Dr. Jan Hoistad 

Big Picture Partnering: 16 Weeks To A Rock-Solid Relationship, by Dr. Jan Hoistad

Big Picture Partnering coaching programs for couples